Hello Everyone!
As you can tell by the title (like always) i'm talking about a boy issue that i am going through.
I won't be saying his name in this so he will be referred to as Noah.
The purpose of me writing this is for other girls my age who may be going through the same thing as me. I'm am writing this to say that you are not the only one.
Last year (2013)
i became friends with these lovely group of people and this is where i met Noah. As soon as i saw him i thought "this boy looks amazing!" and when i started to talk to him i just found my heart was fluttering and i could feel my cheeks go red, me being me, i didn't think anything of it because i didn't want to like him.
Early in August I was at my friends birthday party, our whole group was there and few more people. I decided to hang around with my girl friend, my guy friend and Noah. We were all inside, music is playing and people are dancing while us four were just standing off to the edge talking to each other, this is when it hit me, i really liked Noah.
Towards the end of the party we decide to watch Mean Girls, but before we did, we all wanted to play truth or dare. I made a dumb decision when he chose dare, i dared him to kiss one of our friends and that's when he said something i didn't want to ever hear him say.
"I have a girlfriend".
Well that just broke me and i felt terrible.
After all that had happened we watched Mean Girls, i sat on the floor with Noah behind me. Half way through the movie Noah started to play with my hair and attempted to braid it.
Months after months it was the same as any ordinary crush is. The school year ends and i'm out shopping with my mum. My mum and i are at a cafe so my mum goes up to order while i go to find a table, while walking out to find our table, Noah walks past me not even a foot away with his girlfriend. Luckily he didn't notice it was me, i was shaking and my cheeks went full on red. Later while my mum and i are shopping i bump into my friend Bella, i mention how i saw Noah but he didn't see me and he was with his girlfriend. I say goodbye to her and head home.
That night i went on facebook to find i had a message from Noah. Hang on what? he NEVER uses facebook. I should read this.
Our conversation started as "Heard you were at highpoint" "why didn't you say something?" i told him that he was with someone, Noah telling me it was his girlfriend, and that i should leave them alone.
We talked for a while and reading it just now i was really weird and i can't believe the things i said. I got his kik and we talked for the rest of the 2 month school holiday.
This Year (2014)
Things were a bit different. We didn't talk as much as we did over the school holidays but we still did and still do now. I never saw him at school because he was at one campus and i was at the other, but we still saw each other every morning.
Mackillop day comes around (A celebration of St Mary Mackillop that is basically a school fair) and the whole group is hanging out together. Noah, for some reason, was being extra nice to me that day. My girl friends and i went on a ride while Noah and my guy friend held our bags and purses and waited for the ride to be over (they had already been on the ride) the ride came to an end and we were all getting off. My guy friend was holding everyones bags. Except mine. I say to him "where's my purse?" so then Noah comes over only holding my purse. That made me feel happy because my guy friend had three of my girl friends bags while Noah only had mine.
A new ride comes up and were waiting in line to go on. I was told to sit next to Noah.
I am scared of heights and this ride looked pretty scary. We're waiting at the front of the line and Noah sees me shaking and says "are you actually scared to go on?" i tell him yes and turn the other way and so does he, but as he's turning he says "you're adorable" and i couldn't contain my smile.
We're now on the ride and as we were going around the ride i had my eyes closed so to keep my eyes open Noah keeps saying "keep your eyes open!" and he would tickle my side or my knee or my shoulder.
The day goes on and nothing else happens.
This Week.
This is what has recently happened during this week.
It all starts with me having a dream. The dream goes as i am standing with my girl friends while my guy friend and Noah are talking, Noah then comes over the me, turns me to him and kisses me. I woke up really happy because it was one of those dreams that felt real and i could actually feel the kiss and i still remember how it felt. It felt fantastic.
School starts on Monday, i see Noah and my other friends on the other campus that i hardly ever see. I go with my friends (who are on the same campus as me) to the bus to go to school. I pulled my phone out and go on facebook just to see a picture of Noah and his girlfriend.
I was being so jealous and making fun of her fore the stupidest things ever and i really regret it, i never said anything to her. I just kept it between my friends and I.
i went home that night and looked at the photos again and in one of them i see that they are holding hands. I know it's something i shouldn't be so worried over, but just seeing the guy you are head over heals for holding someone else's hand just breaks your heart.
Fair enough it is his girlfriend. But, i locked myself in my room for a solid 5-10 minutes just to cry. And that's all i did. cry.
Noah doesn't know anything about this and that's how i intend to keep it.
There's a quote that says "I turned our liking you more then i originally planned" and i think that goes along with my story pretty well.
I know this is long but i just wanted to get the full thing out. I will be fair and said i did shorten it down a lot.
If anyone can relate to this please comment saying that you relate to this
27/08/14
