Confidence in Performing?

Hey Guys!

I had a thought.

A lot of people (like myself) love the thought of singing, dancing, acting on a stage in front of so many people and want to make this a career, but don't have the confidence.

This year I have learnt a thing or two to help gain your confidence when it comes to this sort of thing so the only rational thing to do is to share it to you.

ACTING

When it comes to acting or drama in general, there is no need to stress about portraying a roll in front or with someone because they are in no way going to judge you. In my drama class there is this boy that does act and I am in a group with him to perform a play to our class and year 12's. He knows some of us are nervous about acting in front of others because we hadn't done it before. He gave us a few pep talks and from that I've learnt that there is NOTHING to be afraid of

"Why are you so nervous? They aren't going to make fun of you if you forget a line or if you trip on stage. The reason they are here is just to enjoy the show. You may not be Meryl Streep or Jennifer Lawrence but you are you. And no one can play that role the way you can."

(I'll leave this for you that I made)

DANCING

Ah dancing. The art of telling a story though your swift actions (did I really just write that?) There is nothing more beautiful then a dance, whether it be ballet, contemporary, jazz, hip hop, etc.  

This part is sorta going to be for those who have just started dancing and aren't as comfortable in the class.

I started dancing at the age of 13 because I wanted to get fitter and just do something for fun.

When I started dancing I wasn't doing a lot and I found myself in the back corner of the class so I couldn't see myself in the mirror and I was so scared because everyone was so good and I was so insecure thinking "I've just messed up that move" "how can I do this?" "I should quite cause I am just so bad" "how is everyone so good and I'm so crap?"

From experience I will tell you this.

Do not be afraid to have fun. When you think of dancing you think of Abby Lee Miller and that all dance teachers are that strict and that you have to be perfect. If you mess up just keep going because you WILL eventually get that move perfect and if you do mess up no one is going to judge you or think you're stupid, if anything they'll think it's amazing that you can keep going! When it comes to people in class and not knowing anyone don't be afraid to introduce yourself because, trust me, it becomes a lot easier to dance when you know people. I went from being so awkward around everyone and I felt so uncomfortable dancing around people I didn't know, but then I decided to just get to know people, I've made some really good friends and it's easier to dance because if I forget a move I can just laugh about it with a friend.
So from that just DON'T BE SCARED JUST GO OUT AND DO YOUR THING.

SINGING
Here's the big one. Singing
We all love to sing but some of us want to make it career but don't have the confidence to get our voice out there (don't worry I know how you feel)
This year I have had a few occasions where I have performed for a small crowd so here is my advice.
You know that phrase "picture the audience in their underwear"? well I'll tell you know that that doesn't exactly help.
The only thing I can really say about it is to just do it.
Go out there and rock the stage because no matter what you do it is going to sound good and if you mess up, no one will notice except for you. Once you have performed and you're off the stage you will have such an adrenaline rush and It'll feel so good because you know you've done something you're afraid of doing and it's one step closer to becoming more confident.

So this was just a bunch of advice I thought I'd like to share with you guys
If this helped anyone please let me know in the comments!
Thanks for reading

Bye

Dearest Taylor

Hi Guys

i want nothing more than to meet taylor swift​ and tell her how much she has done for me. If it wasn’t for Taylor i wouldn’t be the person i am today. If a day ever comes where i meet taylor i won’t have enough time to tell her everything.

Taylor has been there for me through her music since 2008, through my tears, through my smiles and through all my hard times. No matter how mad or sad i’ve been she can always bring a smile to my face and she is one of the only people that can do that.

I have learnt so many life lessons like i don’t need to worry about having a boyfriend because there is so much more in life that is so much better then that, In life all i really need is my family and a few good friends to be happy.

I’ve been through a time with my family and i’ve been depressed (not wanting to kill myself just really really sad) about everything that has happened with my brother, my mum and a family friend. But through all this hurt taylor swift has been there for me, not physically (cause australia) but in her music, twitter and instagram. 

I am so happy i live in an age where i have a chance to tell my idol how much they mean to me through social media, so if i never get the chance to meet them, there is a chance for her to see it on the internet.

Taylor i would just like to say thank you for being a songwriter/singer because without you i would be an emotional wreck and not know as much as i know now.

There is also a point i want to make about helping people out being noticed. 

(Why is it when someone with a lot of followers posts something meaningful for a celebrity (like i've just done) everyone will tag the them and help that person get noticed? But when it comes to people like me who don't have a big following no one wants to help? I don't see how that's fair honestly because i live in Australia so my only chance of Taylor noticing me and knowing what i have to say is over social media, it's just not right that some people don't even want to help others when this is their only chance. I'm sorry but it just really upsets me)

Thanks for reading

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Hair Change

Hey Guys!

For the past few months my hair has been really crap so i'm just gonna go through what happened.

(Blured my face out because i look absolutely terrible)

I first ombred my hair in September last year, but the blonde was too yellow and there was no blending in it.

A little while later i went back and dyed my hair darker, and over time i had to keep toning it because it kept going a Brassy. By this time the texture of my hair wasn't at it's best but it was still not bad.

At the start of January i dyed my hair blue and I really loved the colour but what i didn't like was the fact that the ends of my hair felt really dry and broken and that I had layers to it just made everything look even worse. In this photo I had straightened my hair to make it look nice but when my hair was how it naturally is, it goes very curly/frizzy and it exposed the terrible ends of my hair.

When school started up again my hair was wreaked. The blue had faded and the blonde was coming through with a green tinge to it. The parts of my hair that was dyed felt even worse then they were feeling before and the colour looked horrible. I felt awful with my hair in this state because everyone around me had such nice hair and my hair was not as nice as everyone else's and i had just wreaked it completely.

Last time I was at the hair dressers I started to cry because i just hated everything about my hair. So today I went back and she used a moose colour that wouldn't make my hair worse and she gave it a really good cut so now my hair feels a lot thicker and the colour just blends really well.

Compared to when i first got my hair coloured i've noticed how bad my hair used to look and I can easily say that i will not be dying my hair for a while.

Moral of the story, if you're thinking about dying your hair do it if you are completely sure of the colour you want but if you haven't dyed your hair before and really want to dye it so many colours like I wanted to do, just don't do it because you will regret it. If my hair ended up like this by only dying it those times just don't take that chance of ruining your hair because it will take a long time to get back to the way it was before

Bye Guys

Living with ANXIETY

Hey Guys

I'm sorry this is my second serious post in a row but i promise that after this it will get back to normal.

A big problem with Anxiety these days is that it's not really considered a big deal or a real disorder because there is a lot of people that over use this term, that don't even have it, making us who have Anxiety seem like hypercondriacs.

To make this easier with everyone i'll put it into dot points so it's seems a lot clearer and it makes more sense.

(Everything i am saying is from my personal experiences. Everyone is different and it will be different for anyone)

(General Anxiety)

1: When I feel like I am going to be having an anxiety attack my chest feels tight, as if i am struggling for breath

2: I will go really quiet and will want everything around me to be silent. If someone talks to me it will feel like I am being yelled at no matter what your tone of voice is.

3: When I am actually having an attack I will burst out into tears and have a very hard time to breath because I have focus on getting myself together but I also have to focus on controlling my breathing. I basically have too much to focus on in that moment.

4: I tend to jump to conclusions. If someone says something a little mean about me as a joke I will just assume they hate me.

5: I feel that I am not good enough for people because I think that i annoy everyone and i'm always worried i'll say the wrong thing

6: No one really understands how it feels unless you actually have anxiety. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. If someone says to me "I know how you feel" but they've never had Anxiety, it just makes me so mad because they actually don't understand (Just putting that point out there)

(Social Anxiety)

1: I love to go out with my friends. But before it is time to leave the house I just want to crawl into bed because I feel so sick i could throw up 

2: When I go to pay for something I am constantly counting in line if I have the right amount of money and I always have it in hand to pay straight away because I don't want to take up too much time.

3: I hate eating in front of people. I remember one time I went out go see Frozen with a bunch of friends and before the movie started we went to get lunch. While they were all gonna get something one of them asked me what I was getting and I just told him I wasn't hungry, well then one of them had bought me a drink (but it was nice that he did that). I just sat there with it sitting in front of me and I didn't drink it till we started walking so i could walk at the back of them so no one could see me.

4: If a group near me is laughing I just assume they're laughing at me. I know I haven't done anything or that I don't even know them I just think they're laughing at me.

I'm gonna stop myself there because this is getting a bit long.

(I have one friend that knows when I am having Anxiety and she handles it so well. I'm sorry that i've never said it before but I just want to tell you that I am so thankful to have you as my best friend and I thank you for the amount of times you have helped me in so many different situations and always being there for me. I fell like i haven't done as much for you as you've done for me so if there is anything you want just ask. You have no idea the impact you have made on my life. You have made me such a happier and jokey person. I'm glad that you came into my life and I hope we can be friends forever)

Thanks for reading

Bye

Existential Crisis...?

All seriousness now...

So i think i am having an existential crisis.

Sometimes i'll go through a stage where I have really deep thoughts that are quite scary.

The reason I think I am having one is for a number of reasons.

1: I become aware of other people's existence.

2: I and everyone else is gonna die one day.

3: There are going to be millions of years more after we die and it's going to be like nothing to us because we'll just be living in a black abyss of nothingness.

 4: Whenever someone brings up the subject of death I (for some reason) become feeling really uncomfortable or just feel like crying.

5: I realise that life is short (even though we can live up to 100 years old these days) and i don't want to waste anytime, i want to go on adventures and do crazy shit before it's too late.

6: I'm more aware of how fragile life actually is. I could be walking down the street and a freak accident could happen and i die.

7: Along with that i've become more aware of the side effects of drugs, alcohol and other things that go along with that and could damage so much of you later on in life, like you could potentially become brain dead or something.

8: When people say they hate life and they want to die, I feel obliged to give an inspirational speech on how much life matters and there's so much to happen in life.

9: Us as a planet are not even the size as a spec of dust in our universe and if the world were to blow up it really wouldn't effect anything. I'm basically an object that takes up empty space that is needed to be filled.

I mentioned something to my mum about this and she said 

"you're 15, you are not having an existential crisis" 

But i'm not sure if it's just a phase i'm going through or if it is normal to have these thoughts. 

To be completely honest the first time i started thinking about death and the abyss of nothingness was when I was nine years old. Every night for a month i'd get out of bed at 12:00 at night and run to my mum crying because i was scared of dying and since then it's been on and off and will just come at any random moment.

So if you know anything about this (if anyone see's this) or are maybe going through the same thing could you please tell me some information or anything please?

Thank you 

Bye

Worrying about life?

Hey Mackenzie

I know i've probably got your life already sorted out and everything but right now i'm kind of stressing.

I'm gonna be 16 soon and i don't have a job, i mean, is that bad? Mum won't let me get one because i already have enough trouble keeping up with school work and homework and other things but how will i save up money for later on? What about when it comes time for me wanting to travel, i won't have money. But i'm sure it'll get all figured out later but what if it doesn't?

For some odd reason i've been looking at jobs at Buzzfeed. There's a few good ones that i might be interested in in the future but i need a lot of skill. For example Associate Photo Editor, I need 3-4 years experience in it! Jesus like i don't know when it comes to experience in Jobs it just takes so long to do, i get the point of it but i don't know. I would be interested in working at Buzzfeed.

I've come to terms with boys as well. Although i have no experience with them...

It's good to have a boyfriend but do we really need them when it comes to later on in life?

Sure if you want to have kids then you'll need a husband for that but there's so much in this world that I want to see and i'm scared that maybe a boyfriend would hold me back from that. When i'm in my early 20's i don't want to settle down and have kids yet, i'd still be so young and have so much to live for like travel around the world, try new things focus on what i want for myself. When i'm a little older i'll settle down and have kids.

But when my kids leave home and learn to have a life of their own i want to get back out into the world, i never want to loose my youth. I may not be as young as i used to be but i'm still doing something with my life.

I don't want to die with any regrets because that would just mean i've died sad, i'd rather die young and accomplished everything in life rather than living a long life without doing anything i wanted to do.

But with that being said i do want to live a long life but have done everything i wanted to do.

Maybe i should just stop worrying and just go with the flow and see where life takes me. Anyway i am only 15, what do i know about life when i've hardly experienced it?

Thanks for taking your time to read this.

How Music Helps Me

Hey guys.

I realise that i haven't posted in a while so i thought why not write about how music helps me. So here it goes.

when i was a kid my dad always played his music really loudly in the lounge room or in his shed and it always made me feel happy. I remember in the backyard we had a trampoline right next to the shed and my dad always played Billy Joel while i bounced and it was one of the best memories i have as a kid. Sometimes i would close my bedroom door, place my blanket on my floor with my teddies around it while playing the Spice Girls CD and pretend that i was performing a concert and that's when i felt my happiest. Like I didn't need anything else in the world. I had trouble through primary school with keeping friends or even making friends and I would spend lunches alone at times and when i would go home and listen to music, it's like none of that even mattered, it was the only thing i needed in the world. 

Now as a teenager I understand a lot more in music, what the story of a song is, the meaning behind it, the mood. I've always suffered with Anxiety and when i am having an Anxiety attack or just feeling a little on edge i know that i can always put my earphones in and let the world around me disappear while i enter into my own world. At school I have two "friends" who have been treating me poorly, haven't been talking to me, they walk off on me before i even get a chance to go outside and a few times when i try to talk to them they'll turn around and talk to each other. I have come home in tears on multiple occasions because of this, when i am crying i find myself always listening to Taylor Swift.  The way she words her lyrics and how they're musically put together is just so genius and brilliant and i can't thank her enough for how many times her music has helped me through my emotions.

Through music in general i have learned many life lessons such has

 1) Don't worry about your status or what happens in school because it's just school, it's not going to follow you for the rest of your life. 

2) Don't stress about what people think of you, as long as you are happy with who you are that's all that matters because at the end of the day you are the only person you need to impress.

3) Follow your dreams. It may take years to reach them but if you work hard enough for them, you will get them.

So this is how music has helped me through my life

please leave your comments about what helps you in life or what makes you happy.

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