It's That Time Of Year Again...

EXAMS!!!

I'm just going to get straight into this because I don't have to beat around the bush.

This week I am starting my last lot of year 10 exams. I made a post last semester about how to study and prepare for your exams and, if i'm honest with you guys, I am defiantly not prepared for the subjects that I have this semester.
I have exams for
1: English
2: History
3: Science/ Physics
4: Commerce
5: Maths

The only subjects I'm not comfortable with is physics and history. Sure I've been studying for them the most but I'm still now good and physics because I can't remember any equations and I'm revising over events that I need to know for history but I'm not going very well at remembering. All that will have to do with my memory because I have a problem with remembering things.
I know that it will all work out and I'll probably just pass these exams (literally I'm no good at ANY of these subjects) and I shouldn't be worrying but I'm just scared I'm gonna fail another subject and I'll have to repeat year 10 because if you fail two subjects you fail the year at my school (I failed French) But I just gotta think positive and hope that I won't fail.
Wish me luck

Thanks for reading
Bye

The Book I Wish I Had Written

Hey guys

So as you can tell by the title (I seem to always say that) I guess you know what this is gonna be about.

I wish I could have written Girl Online - Zoe Sugg

The reason I wish that I had written that book was because it helped me in so many way like dealing with my anxiety and it helped me write on this blog and gave me an idea of what I wanted to do.

Girl Online to me feels like much more than a book.

It's my BIBLE.

I swear whenever something happens in my life I just think "What would Penny Porter do right now?" and I'm sure that others around the world have done that as well.

This book was beautifully written and paints a beautiful picture in your mind of what was happening and one day I hope I will be able to have enough talent to be able to write like Zoe did.

Not a long blog post but I haven't written in a while and I was thinking of Girl Online and thought I would write this down.

I've bought Girl Online: On Tour the other day so as soon as I've finished reading Maze Runner I will be telling you all about it and how much I loved it (I already know I'm gonna love it)

Thank you for reading 

Bye

I'm Back!

Hey Everyone!

I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in over a month! I mean that's pretty bad seeings as I love writing on this blog.

The reason I haven't written is because I've just had no idea what to write and every time I sat down to write something, nothing came out.

So now what I am going to do is give you an update on everything that has happened while I've been gone.

Because I live in Melbourne, I went and saw 5 Seconds of Summer perform on Sunrise and I'll go into more detail about that in it's own post.

There has been this guy that has kind of flirting with me and I don't think he gets the idea that I have friend zoned him. I didn't friend zone him because I wanted to be a bitch. I did it because I don't see him that way. He has been putting his arm around me DAILY and finding a way to compliment me, which I don't mind but eh. Honestly I have no idea if he likes me or not but all my friends are saying that he does but I seriously don't know.

What do you guys think about that? Do you think that he could possibly like me or not? Please tell me what you think.

I still have no idea what has happened recently so I'm gonna leave it there and I'll write a new blog post on seeing 5SOS at Sunrise VERY SOON!!!

Thanks for reading

Bye!

The Joy of Being Sick

Hey Guys

If you can't tell by the title of this post 

I'M SICK!!

Yep and I have been for the past 2 weeks and I can tell you that I have been living in hell for those 2 weeks. My days have consisted of shivering, coughing, sneezing, blowing my nose so much that I've gone through 3 tissue boxes and a roll of toilet paper (because we ran out of tissues), and trying different tablets to make me feel better 

 I've tried the blue Streptils first to numb my throat because it felt like I was swallowing knifes. I had one and it tasted like mouth wash which wasn't bad but it did not help at all. It took some pain away but it came back straight away.

In the middle of the night I had the Honey and Lemon Strepsils to sooth it and it didn't do anything either! I was just left with a horrible taste in my mouth with no result. 

It's funny because that day my friend told me not to try them because they don't work and I didn't believe her because I thought that everyone was different and that I would react different but NOPE. They just didn't work at all.

After that I just stuck to having panadol in the mornings, afternoons and nights and in-between that I was stuck in bed nearly coughing up my lungs while I binge watched the Brady Bunch for the whole week and a bit.

I ended up going to the doctor and she put me on anti biotic's and gave me a doctors certificate for the rest of the week but then I had to go back the next week to get another certificate and she gave me a few more days off so I had two weeks off school 

IMPORTANT THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHILE SICK!!

1) Make sure you have all the DVD's you want to watch in your room so you don't have to keep leaving to get new ones, just make sure you have a bunch in your room.

2) Have a bottle of water or orange juice rather than a cup because they'll last a lot longer and, again, you won't have to keep getting up and leaving the room.

3) Have tissues and a bin next to your bed because it just makes life a whole lot easier

4) Make sure you email your teachers for any work that you've missed out on, if you're still in school. Trust me on this because it will become a giant pain in the ass when you get back to school having to catch up on so much work.

5) Keep hydrated and rest as much as you can. It will help you get over your sickness quicker

I'm gonna stop here because I can't think or concentrate on anything right now because I just found out I'm having problems with my subjects for next year and I'm still sick

Thanks for reading

Bye!

A Letter to my Mum

Dear mum

I don't know when I'll read this to you.

It might be tomorrow, in a month, in a year, or in a decade.

But this is what I want you to know.

I have loved you every single day and nothing has changed how I feel about you and nothing ever will. I appreciate everything you do for us, like how you work two jobs so you could give us the things that we wanted.

You are my best friend and the best days I have are spent with you, even if we're doing nothing all day on the couch or just watching T.V those are the happiest memories for me. I can tell you anything and you will never judge me and you always find a way to make everything better and you are always on my side even when I'm wrong.

I know I tell you everyday but I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you and I always want you to be in my life because you mean the world to me and I don't know what I would do without you. 

You have morphed me into the person I am today and you've taught me so much in life, like how if I make a stupid mistake you'll tell me that it was something no one could tell me about it was just something I just have to learn for myself and knowing that has helped me so much.

I know that when I was younger you used to tell me that you never thought you were a good parent and I mean it when I say that you were the best mum anyone could ask for and I'm so grateful that you are mine because no one is as cool as you.

You weren't a regular mum and you know you weren't. At heart you were still 16 and you could relate to everything I was going through and when it came to my parties you knew what would be fun and what everyone would like and, for some reason, I always doubted it when I shouldn't have because it was always the best time.

I would like to say thank you for everything you have done for our family and know that we all love you incredibly and that we would be lost without you 

Updating You

Hi Mackenzie

I haven't talked to you in a while. Actually quite a long time so I thought that I should probably update you on everything that has happened recently, even though we've already lived through it but I'll tell you again anyway in case you forget.

So I'm not doing guitar lessons at school any more! remember how much you hated it there? well now I'm getting lessons at Scarlett Music my favourite music shop and I have to coolest teacher ever! Chris is really cool and he actually know's what he's doing and he teaches me things that I'll actually need to know, unlike the other teacher where all she cared about was learning songs for guitar ensemble. Honestly I don't even know if I want to do it any more. The ensemble is getting full of year 7's who don't really know what they're doing cause they just started learning and everyone else are year 10's I'm friends with and I don't know it's like I want to keep doing it to perform at music nights but I just hate doing the rehearsals now, I used to love it but now it's kind of feeling like a chore rather then something I'm doing for fun. You'll know what I'll do but right now I have no idea

SUBJECTS NEXT YEAR!!
Alright so, I picked my subjects for next year and I'm really excited!
I chose to do Theatre Studies, Drama and VET Music.
I've done VET Music since year 9 and I did Drama this year and I've been loving it. I'm really excited for Theatre Studies even though it will involve quite a bit of research (I think) but there will still be performing on stage which will be so fun!
I'm mainly excited because they're fun subjects and it's what I'm interested in.

Moving on to another subject is about a boy. I think you know who I'm talking about?
He's been messaging me and he told me that we should hang out and get to know each other more and I'm kinda freaked about it because I don't look at him any other way then a friend and I'm scared that one day he might ask me out and I'll have to let him down because I don't want to ruin things between us.
I will admit though he gives one of the best hugs I've ever had, like it's not a half hug or like he's doing it because he has too, he puts feeling into it and he wraps his arms around you which feels nice. So I'll admit that I like his hugs a lot but that's it.

Going back to the music aspect of things, I started getting singing lessons this term!
It's been really good, so far she's taught me how to breathe properly which I picked up straight away without any practice and I've got a good range so I can learn any song I want to because I can go high and low. I've started learning a song which is "Break The Distance" by Ashton Edminster and it is going fantastic. I'm still not confident but she is constantly telling that I have a beautiful voice and I shouldn't be embarrassed about it and that I need to build my confidence, which is true because I am quite quiet when I sing. I can't even sing in front of my family or best friends and usually they're the first people to hear me with these types of things but not with singing.
I'll get there one day though and I'm sure you'll know that because you would've already done it.
I hope your music is going good. I know how important it is right now and that you want to go places with it so I'm wishing you all the best with it.

On that note I think I should wrap this post up and tell you more later on and not give you an overload of information that you've already been though.
Hopefully you are enjoying looking back at these memories because that's the purpose of this whole thing, so you can look at it and remember things that happened in your teenage years and get some feeling from it.

Thank you for reading
See you later 

Year 10 Formal

Hello Everyone

Let's just start this post with some pictures from the night

This night happened on Friday the 31st of July 2015.

Preparing for this event started with getting my hair and make up done. I went to my hairdressers house where there she did both hair and make up. She did a fantastic job on my make up and then asked me if I was going to get a spray tan and I said no because I didn't plan on actually getting one. She asked if I would like one to which I agreed to. I came out of her bathroom and when my dad saw me he was like "oh my gosh" because I have never ever been tan before to it was my first time actually having colour. After this we get my hair done and I was in love with it! It reminded me of some classic Hollywood movie star because it was curled and worn to one side while I had some tucked behind my ear.

I then went home and waited for a little while before we actually had to leave and when the time came closer to actually leaving I put my dress on and got some photos with my parents and then left at 6:00 because I had to get there by 6;15 to get photos with my friends but the event didn't actually start until 6:30.

We arrived at the venue and I stayed in the car looking for my friends so that I could go straight to them. Right when I thought I saw them I went to open my car door when my best friend Bella came up to the window and gave me the creepiest look but I was so excited to see her and my other friend (The guy you see wearing blue)

6:30 comes around and we walk inside, which we were thankful for because it was absolutely freezing, and wait until it gets to 7:00 so we can be seated.

We then get seated and everyone is sitting down while my group were running around the place like headless chooks because we couldn't find our table, then one of the workers came up to me and said we were over in the corner. I thanked him and head over but we still couldn't find the table so we kept looking until we finally found it and it was where the guy showed us.

1st thing that happened was we got our entree's which were either chicken or lasagne. I had the chicken and it was amazing!

After eating we got up and started dancing. The DJ got really into the music but the music wasn't really anything you could sing a long to and it all had almost the same beat the whole time but it was still really good. We went over the photo booth and got group photo's done.

After dancing and photos we had our dinner which was either chicken parma with potato mash or lamb with potato mash. I got given the lamb which wasn't really the best because it was very plain and quite moist but the potato mash wasn't too bad.

After eating we got up and started dancing again but for longer this time and you could see that everyone else was really getting into the dancing and the music. There was a lot of jumping and random dance moves which was amazing and we got more photos done and then went and had dessert.

When we had dessert everyone on my table got a plate of something except for me and I was kinda like "um, ok" so I watched everyone else eat or other people dancing and I was sitting there like "I really want some of that chocolate" but it was probably best that I didn't have it.

Once everyone else was finished we got back up and started dancing and getting pictures taken again. This time a lot of people were acting strange. After dinner we all knew that people were drinking but now they were wasted. One girl skidded across the floor and hit her head into my leg and I asked her if she was okay because it was pretty hard she hit be but she was then gathered by her friends and she was giggling! Like ok?

And the way a lot of people were dancing was just obvious that they had alcohol in their system.

At the end of the night we took a whole year level photo which turned out really good.

We finished the night with a few more songs and then went back to our seats or just scattered around talking to our other friends while we waited to get picked up.

My mum had fallen asleep and didn't realise the time so Bella took me home and we spent the car ride talking about the night and everything that had happened.

I arrived home and thanked her and her step dad for dropping me home. I walked into the house and saw my mum on the couch waiting up for me so I sat down next to her and kicked off my shoes because my feet felt like they were gonna fall off because I wore heels all night and then told mum about the night and what happened which she was happy.

I later had a shower to wash all the sweat, tan and make up off and got into my pajama's then got into bed but didn't sleep for another hour.

So that is everything that happened on the day of formal!

It was a really fun day, I don't know if what I wrote really did it justice but trust me when I say it was a night that I am never going to forget.

Thank you for reading

Bye

Coming up with a new URL

Hey Guys!

So as you can tell by the title I want to change my URL. But for a number of reasons

1: I don't like it

2: The reason I have it is because I'm waiting until I get a good idea for a new one but every time I did get a new one it was already taken (i searched it and it wasn't)

3: It doesn't reflect who I am. This URL makes me look so unoriginal and predictable and that is not what I am.

I'm just gonna leave this post short because it's only a minor thing. 

If you can come up with any really good ideas that might reflect on what my blog is about please don't be afraid to comment your ideas because I would really love to hear them.

Thank you for reading

Bye!

A Message to Shane Dawson

Dear Shane

You have been in my life since 2012

I may not have been there from the very beginning, but I have been here for a few years.

Everyday I come home from school and watch your videos to laugh with you and smile with you and you put me in such a better mood.

You have been there for me when nobody else was.

The days where I would lock myself in my room and just cry because I didn't know what to do with myself, I knew that you would be there to pick me up at the end of the day to tell me that you love me and with that I am eternally grateful for you.

Today I watched your coming out video.

It breaks my heart to see you cry and to be so upset at the fact that you felt trapped and as if you didn't know what to do, turning to your eating disorder and going to therapy it made me see how much you were going through and I had no idea.

I want you to know that myself and millions of other people around the world are going to stand by your side every step of the way and love and support you like you have done for us.

In time I know that you will become happier.

I want you to ignore everyone who is being an asshole and giving you shit because you are bisexual because there is nothing wrong with it, you are who you are and the only persons opinion that matters in your life is your own. So DO NOT let someone else's words beat you down because you are better then them.

Like I said earlier, I will forever stand by your side and give you unconditional love and support through thick and thin because I know that you would do the same for me.

I love you Shane

Thank you for reading

Bye

Boy/ Family Issues

Hey

This post is gonna be more personal and it made me learn a really good lesson and i really hope you get something out of it because i don't want anyone to go through anything like this.

For the past 2 months I have been talking to this guy that was my brothers friend. He was really nice and sweet and funny and we had a fake relationship and would talk to each other like we were in a relationship, he would tell me things about himself and his family and I told him a few things but not everything. 

I started to trust him more and i started to really like him.

Soon my brother wasn't friends with him anymore and would always tell me to stop talking to him and get rid of him from your life and i would always just reply with a no because I didn't want to stop talking to him because I liked him. I continued to talk to him for another month.

One night I decided to ask him to hang out in the city with me, it wasn't a date it was more like two friends just hanging out, to which he accepted and we planned a day and time. I never told my brother I was hanging out with him because he would get mad at me and try to get me to stay home.

We then met up at the train station and it was the first time we had ever hung out like it was just the two of us and I couldn't be happier. When we got onto the train he was asking me about my brother and how he was. I told him that he goes on morning walks and that he see's this girl and says hello to her and that it was really sweet. I took that as nothing and we just continued our day and it was really fun. We walked around the city and we went into a music store that i've been dying to go to for ages. The day soon came to and end and we got back on the train and went home. Once he had left and I started to walk home and I got a message from my brother "Nice to see you've been talking shit about me" he said. I was completely confused and had no idea what he was talking about so i asked him. He told me that I had told the guy that he was stalking this girl to which I replied saying that, that wasn't what I said.

Immediately i messaged the guy and asked him if he had talked to my brother and he said that he hadn't and he asked why, I told him that my brother is extremely mad at me. Then the guy told me that he had messaged his best friend (who is also friends with my brother) about what I said. 

I told him to stop talking to me until i was ready to talk to him.

I called my mum and told her everything and i couldn't go home because i was scared that he was gonna yell at me so I walked around to my cousins place and told her everything that happened because i'm close with her.

Later i went home and he didn't yell at me. He didn't do anything. He's not talking to me. All because this guy twisted my words and told my brother something different to what i said.

He continues to not talk to me which breaks my heart and i didn't know what to do.

I slept over at my friends house the next night and had a lot of fun. The next day when mum came to pick me up, on the way home she said to me "This guy had messaged your brother and said 'I just fucked a girl named ___" After my mum told me this I was extremely mad and instantly I blocked him on everything I had him on because i didn't want anything to do with him.

It's 4 days after everything and my brother is still not talking to me. I feel sad and angry because of everything that has happened.

MORAL OF THE STORY

If you have a guy that you are talking to and someone in your family tells you to get rid of him, do it. I know it'll be hard to but please you just have to do it because something like this could possibly happen. I was used and played just for this guy to get back at my brother. Do not let anyone get in-between you and your family because no one is more important than them.

I hope at least one person got something out of this

Please never let this happen.

Thank you for reading

Bye 

Exam Stress

Hey Guys!

This week I am sitting exams and I am going to tell you a few things that I wish I had done before they started.

1) Study: I know this is common sense and it's something you should instantly do, but if you're like me you will hate studying.

A few ways to do it are to have flashcards ready and go through them with a friend. While they ask you a question you can answer it as a way to memorise what you will need to know.

2) Do as much as you can: This goes along with studying, don't cram it all in to the night before, Do it over a cause of a few weeks and just do what you can do, you'll find you'll be less stressed and possibly get better scores.

3) Keep your area organised: Whether you are studying on your bed or on a desk or on your kitchen table, it is important to keep the area organised and think to yourself do you have enough light? Is there too much stuff on the table? other things that go along. Clutter may lead to you being stressed.

4) Don't take study periods for granted: If your school is run the same way, during exam week you'll have some normal classes before your exam and they will allow you to study. DO NOT MUCK AROUND!!! This class is very important and you may want to just talk to your friends or play on your laptop but trust me you're only ruining it for yourself and your friend. If you use your time efficiently you will get a much better score then you would've if you didn't study

5) Read, speak, write: I know this helped me to remember my monologue and I'm sure it'll help you to remember your notes you need.
Read your notes 10 times
Say your notes 10 times
Write your notes 2 times
This is a good way to really stick the information into your brain.

6) Create a playlist: If you find you work better with music make a playlist with relaxing music, kind of stuff that has piano and is slow. The music doesn't need to have words but it'll help you be relaxed and more at ease

7) Sleep: You may get to a point where you think it is necessary to pull an all nighter. It's not worth it. Sleep is as important as food, it's what you need to get through the day. If you do feel like you need to stay up all night and study, don't do it, just go to sleep, when you're asleep your brain will be processing what you had just learnt.

8) Write a story: This may sound silly but write a short story about your study topic
For example I'm studying the origins of English. I may write a story about the evolution of the language in a fairytale form. Whatever you are learning you can write a story is whatever way you find appealing.

These were just a few ideas for you in-case you were struggling to remember things or find a good method. I hope I helped you in some way and PLEASE leave comments for any ideas that you may have because someone may find that tactic better

Thanks for reading 

You Silly Turnip

Hey guys!

Okay so, have a seat cause it's story time.

At the start of the year I made up these cards with "you silly turnip" written on them with a picture of a turnip with a face on them and my friend and I would go around the building and put them in peoples lockers. I put a card in the lockers around me because I wanted to see what their reaction would be. I never really got to see a reaction. But I did today.

Today in school I was grabbing my lunch from my locker and the semi popular boys next to my locker were jokingly bagging their friend and he was saying "You know what (blank name) is?" the other guys says "I don't know, what?" and the guy responds with "He's a silly turnip"

Straight away I called my friend over and told her about it and we thought it was just hilarious so tonight I'm making up more 'you silly turnip' cards so we can put more around the year level.

Thank you for reading and I hope someone got some inspiration for doing something for their year level.

Bye!

Drama Monologue (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

Hey Guys!

So I remembered that I was gonna update you guys on how I'm going on my drama monologue.

So far I have Memorised my script for Ferris Bueller but now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to preform it and how I'm going to say everything.

Do you guys have any ideas? 

I'm doing the opening scene where he just made his parents believe he was sick and he's saying what a good way to trick parents are and how he had a test on European socialism.

I have a rough idea of what I want to do but I want someone else's thoughts of how I should preform it, in case someone is a big fan of the movie.

Thanks for reading guys!

I need to get back to doing school work 

Starting Monologues

Starting Monologues in class

So today in drama we are starting Monologues (if you couldn't already tell) and we have a choice between 31 different ones from different movies. I narrowed down my choices to three options 

1: Tangina - Poltergeist

2: Dumbledore - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

3: Ferris Bueller - Ferris Buellers Day Off

So I have decided to do the male role which is Ferris Bueller.

I have no idea how I am going to go for this because we have to perform it in front of the class and it's going to be our exam. I'm excited because I love to perform but I'm nervous because I'll be  playing a male role and I'm a girl, that and I've never performed by myself in front of this class before, it's always been with other people in the class.

I'll keep you posted about how it's going!

Demon Teachers

Hey Guys

Once again I am supposed to be doing class work and listening to my teacher but this post popped into my head and I had to write it.

I'm in English at the moment and it's the last day of school (thank god) and I can honestly say that my English teacher is probably the worst teacher I could have ever had.

For example: She makes us read at the start of the lesson for 15 minutes and talks through it for 10 minutes.

Someone in class will be doing absolutely nothing (like what just happened now) and she will tell them off! like why? what's the point?

Something else as well is that we were given an essay and we only had one lesson the prepare for it, like writing down notes and getting information. FOR AN 800 WORD ESSAY, she then realised that she didn't give the class enough time so now we have to do it next term. Lucky.

All term we've been learning about the origins of English and I know she has to teach it to us, it's not her choice. But she could at least make it fun in some way but instead she drags it on and she just doesn't know when to stop talking. 

Going back to picking on the students, a few of my friends have wanted to leave the school because of her, my teacher just picks on them so much and she favours others and that is not fair at all. She doesn't even let us open the blinds because it's a "distraction"

AND RIGHT NOW SHE JUST TOLD SOMEONE THEIR OPINION WAS WRONG!!!

The student says in her life time she doesn't think language has changed. Fair enough that is her opinion, but my teacher just said "that's wrong and you know it is, you know very well that it has changed" Like let the girl write about her opinion and not yours.

Bloody Catholic school always trying to force their beliefs down our throats.

My school is a good school but I'm sick of getting beliefs forced upon me, just stop we're sick of it.

And I'm sure other students around the world will agree with me

So in summary my English teacher is a demon on earth. Tell me in the comments if you have any bad teachers and what makes them a bad teacher.

Thanks for reading 

Bye!

School gets in the way

Hello Everyone!

So I think I've made it pretty obvious what I'm gonna be talking about?

Me, being a teenager, is hard to be writing posts all the time.

I love posting on here, even if no one ends up seeing it, I just love the fact that I can share my thoughts with others and maybe later in life reading back on these posts.

There's just one downside to doing it though.

School.

I hate the fact that I'm in school and I always have heaps of homework because then I never have time to think of something I could post. When I do have time I don't have an idea, but when I don't have time I have an idea and I think "I'll remember that for later" but I always end up forgetting.

I know some of you will understand if you're in school and have a blog. 

It's funny that the things we love doing we almost never have time for, don't you think?

You know what's unfair as well? 

The fact that schools never teach us things we want to be in life. Like this for example, I wouldn't mind doing this for a living but do they teach you how to write a blog the write way? or teach you how to make it look really good? No. And what about if you want to be a youtuber, which is something I also want to do, do they teach you the right kind of equipment you need? or how to come up with a video idea? Nope.

In school they teach you pointless things you'll never need in life and it's something I think the education system needs to realise.

I've gone completely off track, sorry

I know for sure when I graduate school I'm going to be dedicating my time to writing good material  for you guys. I just hope that one day someone will see my blog and share it with someone and soon it becomes something people will love and write comments to me. Kinda like Zoe Sugg's book Girl Online. But instead of falling in love with a guy named Noah I just get the blog aspect of the book.

Gone off topic AGAIN!

But anyway you guys get the idea about how school gets in the way and how they don't teach us things we'll really need in life.

(Fun fact I'm writing this in school when I should be doing my drama work)

Thank you so much for reading

Bye! 

  

Confidence in Performing?

Hey Guys!

I had a thought.

A lot of people (like myself) love the thought of singing, dancing, acting on a stage in front of so many people and want to make this a career, but don't have the confidence.

This year I have learnt a thing or two to help gain your confidence when it comes to this sort of thing so the only rational thing to do is to share it to you.

ACTING

When it comes to acting or drama in general, there is no need to stress about portraying a roll in front or with someone because they are in no way going to judge you. In my drama class there is this boy that does act and I am in a group with him to perform a play to our class and year 12's. He knows some of us are nervous about acting in front of others because we hadn't done it before. He gave us a few pep talks and from that I've learnt that there is NOTHING to be afraid of

"Why are you so nervous? They aren't going to make fun of you if you forget a line or if you trip on stage. The reason they are here is just to enjoy the show. You may not be Meryl Streep or Jennifer Lawrence but you are you. And no one can play that role the way you can."

(I'll leave this for you that I made)

DANCING

Ah dancing. The art of telling a story though your swift actions (did I really just write that?) There is nothing more beautiful then a dance, whether it be ballet, contemporary, jazz, hip hop, etc.  

This part is sorta going to be for those who have just started dancing and aren't as comfortable in the class.

I started dancing at the age of 13 because I wanted to get fitter and just do something for fun.

When I started dancing I wasn't doing a lot and I found myself in the back corner of the class so I couldn't see myself in the mirror and I was so scared because everyone was so good and I was so insecure thinking "I've just messed up that move" "how can I do this?" "I should quite cause I am just so bad" "how is everyone so good and I'm so crap?"

From experience I will tell you this.

Do not be afraid to have fun. When you think of dancing you think of Abby Lee Miller and that all dance teachers are that strict and that you have to be perfect. If you mess up just keep going because you WILL eventually get that move perfect and if you do mess up no one is going to judge you or think you're stupid, if anything they'll think it's amazing that you can keep going! When it comes to people in class and not knowing anyone don't be afraid to introduce yourself because, trust me, it becomes a lot easier to dance when you know people. I went from being so awkward around everyone and I felt so uncomfortable dancing around people I didn't know, but then I decided to just get to know people, I've made some really good friends and it's easier to dance because if I forget a move I can just laugh about it with a friend.
So from that just DON'T BE SCARED JUST GO OUT AND DO YOUR THING.

SINGING
Here's the big one. Singing
We all love to sing but some of us want to make it career but don't have the confidence to get our voice out there (don't worry I know how you feel)
This year I have had a few occasions where I have performed for a small crowd so here is my advice.
You know that phrase "picture the audience in their underwear"? well I'll tell you know that that doesn't exactly help.
The only thing I can really say about it is to just do it.
Go out there and rock the stage because no matter what you do it is going to sound good and if you mess up, no one will notice except for you. Once you have performed and you're off the stage you will have such an adrenaline rush and It'll feel so good because you know you've done something you're afraid of doing and it's one step closer to becoming more confident.

So this was just a bunch of advice I thought I'd like to share with you guys
If this helped anyone please let me know in the comments!
Thanks for reading

Bye

Dearest Taylor

Hi Guys

i want nothing more than to meet taylor swift​ and tell her how much she has done for me. If it wasn’t for Taylor i wouldn’t be the person i am today. If a day ever comes where i meet taylor i won’t have enough time to tell her everything.

Taylor has been there for me through her music since 2008, through my tears, through my smiles and through all my hard times. No matter how mad or sad i’ve been she can always bring a smile to my face and she is one of the only people that can do that.

I have learnt so many life lessons like i don’t need to worry about having a boyfriend because there is so much more in life that is so much better then that, In life all i really need is my family and a few good friends to be happy.

I’ve been through a time with my family and i’ve been depressed (not wanting to kill myself just really really sad) about everything that has happened with my brother, my mum and a family friend. But through all this hurt taylor swift has been there for me, not physically (cause australia) but in her music, twitter and instagram. 

I am so happy i live in an age where i have a chance to tell my idol how much they mean to me through social media, so if i never get the chance to meet them, there is a chance for her to see it on the internet.

Taylor i would just like to say thank you for being a songwriter/singer because without you i would be an emotional wreck and not know as much as i know now.

There is also a point i want to make about helping people out being noticed. 

(Why is it when someone with a lot of followers posts something meaningful for a celebrity (like i've just done) everyone will tag the them and help that person get noticed? But when it comes to people like me who don't have a big following no one wants to help? I don't see how that's fair honestly because i live in Australia so my only chance of Taylor noticing me and knowing what i have to say is over social media, it's just not right that some people don't even want to help others when this is their only chance. I'm sorry but it just really upsets me)

Thanks for reading

Tumblr

Instagram

Hair Change

Hey Guys!

For the past few months my hair has been really crap so i'm just gonna go through what happened.

(Blured my face out because i look absolutely terrible)

I first ombred my hair in September last year, but the blonde was too yellow and there was no blending in it.

A little while later i went back and dyed my hair darker, and over time i had to keep toning it because it kept going a Brassy. By this time the texture of my hair wasn't at it's best but it was still not bad.

At the start of January i dyed my hair blue and I really loved the colour but what i didn't like was the fact that the ends of my hair felt really dry and broken and that I had layers to it just made everything look even worse. In this photo I had straightened my hair to make it look nice but when my hair was how it naturally is, it goes very curly/frizzy and it exposed the terrible ends of my hair.

When school started up again my hair was wreaked. The blue had faded and the blonde was coming through with a green tinge to it. The parts of my hair that was dyed felt even worse then they were feeling before and the colour looked horrible. I felt awful with my hair in this state because everyone around me had such nice hair and my hair was not as nice as everyone else's and i had just wreaked it completely.

Last time I was at the hair dressers I started to cry because i just hated everything about my hair. So today I went back and she used a moose colour that wouldn't make my hair worse and she gave it a really good cut so now my hair feels a lot thicker and the colour just blends really well.

Compared to when i first got my hair coloured i've noticed how bad my hair used to look and I can easily say that i will not be dying my hair for a while.

Moral of the story, if you're thinking about dying your hair do it if you are completely sure of the colour you want but if you haven't dyed your hair before and really want to dye it so many colours like I wanted to do, just don't do it because you will regret it. If my hair ended up like this by only dying it those times just don't take that chance of ruining your hair because it will take a long time to get back to the way it was before

Bye Guys

Living with ANXIETY

Hey Guys

I'm sorry this is my second serious post in a row but i promise that after this it will get back to normal.

A big problem with Anxiety these days is that it's not really considered a big deal or a real disorder because there is a lot of people that over use this term, that don't even have it, making us who have Anxiety seem like hypercondriacs.

To make this easier with everyone i'll put it into dot points so it's seems a lot clearer and it makes more sense.

(Everything i am saying is from my personal experiences. Everyone is different and it will be different for anyone)

(General Anxiety)

1: When I feel like I am going to be having an anxiety attack my chest feels tight, as if i am struggling for breath

2: I will go really quiet and will want everything around me to be silent. If someone talks to me it will feel like I am being yelled at no matter what your tone of voice is.

3: When I am actually having an attack I will burst out into tears and have a very hard time to breath because I have focus on getting myself together but I also have to focus on controlling my breathing. I basically have too much to focus on in that moment.

4: I tend to jump to conclusions. If someone says something a little mean about me as a joke I will just assume they hate me.

5: I feel that I am not good enough for people because I think that i annoy everyone and i'm always worried i'll say the wrong thing

6: No one really understands how it feels unless you actually have anxiety. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. If someone says to me "I know how you feel" but they've never had Anxiety, it just makes me so mad because they actually don't understand (Just putting that point out there)

(Social Anxiety)

1: I love to go out with my friends. But before it is time to leave the house I just want to crawl into bed because I feel so sick i could throw up 

2: When I go to pay for something I am constantly counting in line if I have the right amount of money and I always have it in hand to pay straight away because I don't want to take up too much time.

3: I hate eating in front of people. I remember one time I went out go see Frozen with a bunch of friends and before the movie started we went to get lunch. While they were all gonna get something one of them asked me what I was getting and I just told him I wasn't hungry, well then one of them had bought me a drink (but it was nice that he did that). I just sat there with it sitting in front of me and I didn't drink it till we started walking so i could walk at the back of them so no one could see me.

4: If a group near me is laughing I just assume they're laughing at me. I know I haven't done anything or that I don't even know them I just think they're laughing at me.

I'm gonna stop myself there because this is getting a bit long.

(I have one friend that knows when I am having Anxiety and she handles it so well. I'm sorry that i've never said it before but I just want to tell you that I am so thankful to have you as my best friend and I thank you for the amount of times you have helped me in so many different situations and always being there for me. I fell like i haven't done as much for you as you've done for me so if there is anything you want just ask. You have no idea the impact you have made on my life. You have made me such a happier and jokey person. I'm glad that you came into my life and I hope we can be friends forever)

Thanks for reading

Bye

Existential Crisis...?

All seriousness now...

So i think i am having an existential crisis.

Sometimes i'll go through a stage where I have really deep thoughts that are quite scary.

The reason I think I am having one is for a number of reasons.

1: I become aware of other people's existence.

2: I and everyone else is gonna die one day.

3: There are going to be millions of years more after we die and it's going to be like nothing to us because we'll just be living in a black abyss of nothingness.

 4: Whenever someone brings up the subject of death I (for some reason) become feeling really uncomfortable or just feel like crying.

5: I realise that life is short (even though we can live up to 100 years old these days) and i don't want to waste anytime, i want to go on adventures and do crazy shit before it's too late.

6: I'm more aware of how fragile life actually is. I could be walking down the street and a freak accident could happen and i die.

7: Along with that i've become more aware of the side effects of drugs, alcohol and other things that go along with that and could damage so much of you later on in life, like you could potentially become brain dead or something.

8: When people say they hate life and they want to die, I feel obliged to give an inspirational speech on how much life matters and there's so much to happen in life.

9: Us as a planet are not even the size as a spec of dust in our universe and if the world were to blow up it really wouldn't effect anything. I'm basically an object that takes up empty space that is needed to be filled.

I mentioned something to my mum about this and she said 

"you're 15, you are not having an existential crisis" 

But i'm not sure if it's just a phase i'm going through or if it is normal to have these thoughts. 

To be completely honest the first time i started thinking about death and the abyss of nothingness was when I was nine years old. Every night for a month i'd get out of bed at 12:00 at night and run to my mum crying because i was scared of dying and since then it's been on and off and will just come at any random moment.

So if you know anything about this (if anyone see's this) or are maybe going through the same thing could you please tell me some information or anything please?

Thank you 

Bye

Worrying about life?

Hey Mackenzie

I know i've probably got your life already sorted out and everything but right now i'm kind of stressing.

I'm gonna be 16 soon and i don't have a job, i mean, is that bad? Mum won't let me get one because i already have enough trouble keeping up with school work and homework and other things but how will i save up money for later on? What about when it comes time for me wanting to travel, i won't have money. But i'm sure it'll get all figured out later but what if it doesn't?

For some odd reason i've been looking at jobs at Buzzfeed. There's a few good ones that i might be interested in in the future but i need a lot of skill. For example Associate Photo Editor, I need 3-4 years experience in it! Jesus like i don't know when it comes to experience in Jobs it just takes so long to do, i get the point of it but i don't know. I would be interested in working at Buzzfeed.

I've come to terms with boys as well. Although i have no experience with them...

It's good to have a boyfriend but do we really need them when it comes to later on in life?

Sure if you want to have kids then you'll need a husband for that but there's so much in this world that I want to see and i'm scared that maybe a boyfriend would hold me back from that. When i'm in my early 20's i don't want to settle down and have kids yet, i'd still be so young and have so much to live for like travel around the world, try new things focus on what i want for myself. When i'm a little older i'll settle down and have kids.

But when my kids leave home and learn to have a life of their own i want to get back out into the world, i never want to loose my youth. I may not be as young as i used to be but i'm still doing something with my life.

I don't want to die with any regrets because that would just mean i've died sad, i'd rather die young and accomplished everything in life rather than living a long life without doing anything i wanted to do.

But with that being said i do want to live a long life but have done everything i wanted to do.

Maybe i should just stop worrying and just go with the flow and see where life takes me. Anyway i am only 15, what do i know about life when i've hardly experienced it?

Thanks for taking your time to read this.